Jackie’s story

I wasn’t sure whether I qualified for this website as I didn’t start off as a single mother. I was in a long term committed relationship, we lived together were really happy and had two amazing children.

Both my partner and I lived in Manchester and worker in Social Services, I also spent some time working in Child Protective services and trust me when I say some families you really do feel function better with only one parent, the healthy one. I think there is some data somewhere to back up the theory that you actually only need ‘one good parent’.

So the kids, with only two years apart, started school and I decided to work longer and do a Masters in Social Work, then I decided to a doctorate. I think Andrew, my partner would say I left the relationship before he did but my reality is he had an affair and moved to the other side of England.

Suddenly I found myself drowning in study with a five year old and a seven year old. When he left I thought he would be one of those dads who still stayed in touch and spend time with his kids, but he said it was too upsetting and over a period of time the contact became less and less.

One thing that was always consistent though was the money which he diligently paid every month and I really thank him for that, I’m not sure I would have coped without it to be honest.

I know having financial support from my ex is not always the case in these situations and I realise I’m super privileged having that, but it wasn’t easy working in social care with disadvantaged families every day in work then going home to my own version at night.

I made some terrible mistakes along the way and dated some truly awful people trying to make a new family, but weirdly my situation allowed me to empathise with some of the women I worked with, especially those who found themselves raising children on their own.

‘you don’t know what its like’, they’d say, ‘brining up kids on benefits on your own’.

‘I do know what its like’ I’d say and then we’d talk about the help that’s now available to women and men in this situation like, Universal Credits, Child Tax Credits and Working Tax Credit as well as Child Benefit and other grants.

I’ve worked in this field for many years and whilst the system isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination things are definitely more accessible and available to single parent families.

My kids are grown up now, both at University and I have gone on to run my own charity and complete my PHD, though it did take years and I nearly gave up several times.

Should there be an award for single mothers, and fathers? Well yes, I think so and not just based on my own experience but by working with single parent families too.

I think every single parent I have met has inspired me, some actually really do deserve medals. I loved looking at all the famous single parents on this site and I thought what a great idea.

Single parent families are now so much part of our culture, and it really doesn’t have to mean the kids are worse off, not at all. In some cases really just the opposite.

I hope that I see more changes in society and more help for single parents, especially post Pandemic. I just think that all the single parents who got through lockdown with kids really do deserve a website dedicated to them, because doing that on your own is really something.

Well done single mothers and fathers everywhere and well done all your amazing children. I love this positive movement. Well done Rise of the Single Mother.

I do feel we have a voice and now is the time for it to be heard.